Garden update

Broccoli emerging.
Hutterite soup bean
Ditto
Beets. Only 7 of them came up.
Sweet potato that started to sprout in my pantry.
Sugar snap peas...
Garden #2, new this year. Broccoli, peppers, soup beans, cabbage, tomatoes.
Garden # 1: onions, lettuce, carrots, cabbage, sugar snap peas, tomatoes, sweet potato, basil and parsley.

Basement Reno

I found this where Pete had to pour some new cement. :D
Pete using the jigsaw to make the subfloor fit around the bathroom pipes.
Dimpleboard and subfloor.
we completely gutted the basement except for the fireplace. we had help from some friends-Reg, Dan and Kevin, but I failed to get any pictures of them.
Pete had a ball with the jackhammer.
what used to be the wall of a storage closet under the stairs.

looking through the bathroom into the kitchen.

confessions

Pete and I have talked about having a baby. Of course, since we've been married almost two years and we're both in our 30's. It's the natural time to have a child, and if we want one we can't wait too long.

I just have never been one of those people who longed to have children or dreamed about what I would do with my own kids. I am more the kind of person who is happy with less responsibility and noise rather than more. I have trouble properly taking care of myself, and while I love taking care of my husband (he takes care of me too), it's about as much work as I want to handle right now.

I don't think everyone that is married should assume that they need to have kids. I don't know if I deserve to have kids, or if I will be a caring enough mother to them or provide adequate protection to them from this crazy messed up world. And I get frazzled really easily these days, mainly because I'm stressed by my implacable thankless job. But I do not handle stress well.

I don't want to yell at my kids or retreat into a room while they destroy the rest of the house simply because I can't take it. I don't want to be snappy, pouty, and barely just coping. I feel like I'm all of those things these days just from having a job, which is way easier than being a mom.

I want to be wise, composed, happy and balanced. I want to have time for my family and friends and time to get my work done and just relax and be happy. I want to cook healthy food, and pursue a few hobbies as well, like vegetable gardening and painting. I want to have time to get stuff done so I don't wake up in the middle of the night and toss for two hours because my head is spinning with stuff that needs to get done. From what I've heard from my mommy friends, that is not really an option.

As our second anniversary is getting closer, I am thinking about having kids. I expected that there would be this dawning readiness and desire to have kids that would mean it was the right time. But my desire for kids has not changed. It scares me that there are so many reasons not to have kids.

I know I want kids, and I think it would be cool to have one that looks kind of like me and a little like Pete all at the same time. Or to adopt a child that looks nothing like either one of us. That is my little rant. Can you tell I'm exhausted and fed up with my job? And scared as ever about the future. I know, I know...

I went to the Toronto Blooms show.
Some whole grains I am experimenting with.
What are they looking at?
Yes, my kitties watch TV.
Rachel.
Maggie.

I am reading the latest issue of Canadian House and Home. If I were to pore (pour?) over this type of magazine on a regular basis, I would be so dissatisfied with my home and my social life. Who, I repeat WHO has a house that looks like any of the houses in the magazine? Only really rich people, and the main readership for this kind of magazine is the middle class individual... it's designed to make you dissatisfied with your own home so you'll buy more stuff!

I am glad for the real-life role models in my life who are less than perfect (I know, no one is perfect but some people seem perfect to me, and they are not my role models). I sometimes have the tendency to expect myself to be perfect and that makes me very stressed and flustered when my flaws come to the surface.

Last Sunday, we had my in-laws over for lunch and I made my first ever roast beef Sunday dinner. Growing up, that was not a tradition in my family, but it was in Peter's and he and I did the work together. It turned out ok, except the potatoes and carrots were a little hard (who knew you had to boil them before baking them?) and the meat was tough. I got so flustered and mad at the carrots and potatoes. Now I'm embarrassed because I got all flustered and grouchy and it wasn't really that big of a deal. By the way, my in-laws are not "the in-laws"; they are really cool and I love them.

Update on the job/career: it's still crazy but our team managed to squeeze out some good feedback so we know that we're doing some things right. It's still really high pressure in other ways. I keep telling myself that I just need to accept it instead of fighting it every day. My attitude can go a long way in making my job more enjoyable.

As a profession, dietitians often are women with confidence issues and we can sometimes let ourselves be walked on. I am finding that as I gain experience, I am less willing to take guff and rudeness from people. It's because I know that I know the facts and don't have time to waste on those who don't appreciate it or benefit from it. I also know how to talk to people without being rude or condescending.

I will leave you with a comment I made to one of my fellow dietitians after a particularly difficult week: "It seems to be the in thing for everyone to hate dietitians these days. Well guess what everyone? I hate you too!" I have kind of a knee-jerk sense of humor sometimes.

Rambling on...

I wonder if organic farmers are as frustrated as dietitians at consumer's short attention span and need for instant gratification. For instance: cheaply produced chicken flies off the shelves at cut-throat prices, while the organic chicken costs more and is less popular, albeit being better for you and almost assuredly worth the extra money. There is probably some price gouging going on but it does cost more to grow healthy chickens.

Don't ask me what kind of chicken I buy. It's about to change.

I have learned this about myself in the past few years: that if I don't believe in something 100%, I can't be passionate about it. So I'm asking myself a lot of questions such as whether what I do for a living is actually benefiting, or is the best way to help people. I'm having doubts, and therefore find myself working without passion.

I'm also a slightly jaded realist (with flashes of optimism). So I'm able to keep doing something I don't fully believe in because I need a job. I don't know if I would go for my dream if I even knew what it was. I crave the stability of a bi-weekly paycheck.

I have a strong inclination to tell everyone of my clients to quit their jobs, buy a house in the country, grow vegetables, chickens and cows, and stop stressing about stuff that's going to raise their blood pressure (or worse). But not even I have the guts to do it. I just crave a more simple life...that also includes high speed internet and cell phones and airplanes and washing machines and ... you know, simpler.

a rant from a dietitian's perspective

so many people have their own theory on nutrition, just the way some people think they can make up their own religion, picking and choosing theories that sound right to them. i spend so much time being preached to about nutrition and corrected by know-it-all patients during my nutrition sessions. these people will listen for one minute only after spouting off for 10. i much prefer the patients who say, no thanks, i don't want to talk about nutrition because they don't want to waste my time or their own.

and i would quit my job if i had a dollar for everyone that's sat across from me AFTER we have finished our session and told me that "i think my diet is pretty good; i know all about good nutrition." aiieee!!!!!!!!!

in my few years of experience, i've learned a lot about being culturally sensitive, sympathetic, not sounding condescending, meanwhile making relevant recommendations that are realistic. i know not to spout off too much technical mumbo jumbo and lose someone. i know to pick my battles and not try to change someone in 25 minutes. i know that nutrition is 85% common sense, and most people have some clue about what a healthy diet looks like. but i feel like i have to be a shrink, counsellor, mentor, encyclopedia and personal chef advisor! by the time i'm done doing all that, i'm exhausted, and quite frustrated. and in the end, some of them have the gall to politely tell me they knew it all already and didn't really need me to help them.

my frustration with the field of dietetics is growing. it has to be one of the most under-appreciated allied health specialties, and my colleagues agree with me on this. part of it is that verbal counseling in a sterile office on something as emotional, complex, and tortuous as the western diet is not enough for most people to bring about change. words are too easily forgotten; people forget some crazy number like 75% of what they hear within the first 10 minutes.

the irony is that someone who sells expensive nutrition gimmicks or unhealthy diet programs sees raving popularity. people are willing to go to extremes but unwilling to make a few simple changes. we are a twisted species!

February

We went to Niagara Falls with Pete's brother and his wife.



You can get a bit of perspective on how much snow we had. It snowed a few more times on top of this.
The cat climbing toy Pete and I built. They can climb up the inside of the tube because it's also carpeted. Catalina is the only one brave enough to go down head first.

This post is for Cherie and Jeremy, who remind me that the same old post is still there whenever I talk to them. I really miss you guys.
Winter anywhere north of Kentucky is brutal, and even though I lived in Chicago for 5 years, I am not used to the winter, and I don't think I ever will be no matter how long I live north of Kentucky. Come to think of it winter was brutal in Kentucky this year too. My brother and sister in law lost power for 9 days because of it. My point being, winter takes it out of you even if you don't realize it until later. We have had some really beautiful snow, lots of it! The darkness is the worst though, and the cold. We had a few warmer days last week and I couldn't believe how much more energy I had when I felt the warm breeze. So that is my excuse for not blogging. Just before I mercifully abandon weather as a topic, I would like to add that bears have the right idea.
On to more Canadian topics, I am happy to report that I have converted from Starbucks to Tim Horton's. The Canadian in me is crowing proudly. I relayed this tidbit to Pete the other day and he shrugged! I guess I was expecting him to drop what he was doing and give me a big bear hug. Hmph. I'm not addicted though. Don't worry.
The three kitties are doing well. They love going outside, but hate any kind of precipitation. They waste no time in telling us when they wish to go outside. After putting up with the whining, I open the door. They are met with a blast of cold air, and maybe some snow. They quickly retreat back into the warm house. Two minutes later they optimistically approach the door and begin to meow loudly again. They either have very short memories, they believe the weather changes at an astounding rate, or they simply lack the concept of object permanence. I know it isn't the last one because they can find the jingly fuzzy cat toy no matter where we hide it.
I'll post a few pictures from some of the goings on of the past few months:
Well it wanted to put the pictures at the top so there you go!

My trip to Chicago

The city of big shiny beans.
This is a very special person. I miss Teri.
This one too (Su).
I was so thrilled to see Amy...
My little brother Dave. Over the years he has developed a keen reflex of never being in the position where I could swing around and plant a kiss on his cheek. Notice the firm grip he has on my shoulder. Believe me, I tried.
The massive Christmas tree in Daley Plaza and the crane they're using to put it together.

hi again! sorry to those of you who check and have to look at the same old post over and over. really, if you want to know what i'm up to at any particular time, it looks like this: Monday- Friday:
breakfast, run to train, work workworkwork, run to train, get home, scrounge up some dinner, watch tv, go to bed, repeat. with a few variations. i know, i know, i'm the only person who is so unlucky to be overworked and not have spare time. that's why i'm writing this; i need some pity.

last weekend we added a new family member. we can't agree on a name yet, but i call her tiny. we went to a farm nearby and picked her out. don't blame me! pete wanted another cat! she adds more joy and laughter to our house.

i miss my girl friends though! some days i just feel like crying at odd times because of missing them!

In the last two weeks, I have had visitors both weekends. My parents swung by on their world offspring tour (well, they only visited 3 out of 4 of us). They were here for John and Johanne's wedding shower. Here is Johanne with her parents and mine. John came by the following weekend, and we hung out Saturday. Johanne works at a nifty little place called Supperworks, which services I am sorely in need of, so we went and partook. We came away with the main entree of 14 meals for Pete and I. Now all I have to do is add side dishes and voila! All in all, great to see everyone again!

Pears in September

A month now... I guess if there was one title for the past month, it would be: PEARS. We have a pear tree, and it was loaded!!! I gave away so many pears, to people who gave them to other people. I took them to church, work, neighbors and barbecues. I started getting worried that people would see me coming with more pears and hide! I made pear jam, chutney, crisp and sauce. I still have some but they're rotting. I think I have my mother's issue with throwing away food that's not rotten yet. Wait until it's rotting, I say! My compost heap is FULL of pears; our compost pickup guys got a big load of rotting pears last week.

The pears, incidentally were very delicious. It's not just because I think so; others told me so as well. I'm glad we have a pear tree. Not sure if I'm ready for it to be so industrious next year. But having to use up the pears before they rotted (some of them at least) made me get to work trying out new pear recipes.

I realized even more that I love cooking and baking, especially when it's something that comes from my own back yard. Oh to be a chef. I need a break from telling people how to eat. I would rather cook for them and make them pay me for it. People do better when you make healthy eating convenient, than when you tell them what to eat and what not to eat.

It's September... I remember the melancholy song "Wake me up when September ends." Not sure what it's about but it reminds me of Chicago in the fall. Grey Saturdays with wind blowing leaves across the sidewalks, and remembering what it's like to need a sweater after the long summer. I miss Chicago and all that that time in my life represents. Now I'm rambling because I'm tired!

My parents are coming up this weekend. We're busy cleaning; it helps knowing that by Thursday night the house has to look presentable. Daunting!!! After nearly 3 months in our home, it's still pretty messy!

Oh, and laundry NEVER ends. I was convinced that when I was single, it was all I could do to take care of myself. Now I'm married. ;P Having kids is out of the question! How do people do it?!?!?

Ah well, I hope it's not another month before I post again!

What would you do if you met yourself as another person (ie, Jill, meet Jill.) Would you have much to talk about? Would you like that person? Would you believe what they said? Would you want to hang out? Unless I freaked out and ran away, I think I would ask her how she was feeling. Would I get the truth? Then maybe I'd stand back and ask myself if her thighs were really all that bad. Maybe I could give her some hair and clothing advice, since I could see her from the side and back. Hanging out would be interesting. We could discuss all our insecurities and not feel judged. We could compliment each other without being narcissistic. Then we could do all the things we love to do, because they would be exactly the same! Hmmm... maybe I should clone myself.

My Garden; then and now pictures

My first ripe tomato. I won't pick it until it's reallllly red!!! Anyone want to come help me eat them?



Onions
Tomatoes

Carrots

Well, it's been two months since I last posted. This house has kept us pretty busy and tired. But it's coming along! And of course we have to watch the Olympics every night! Of course...

Work has been very busy! Our company keeps growing and hiring new staff is something that lags behind a lot. No real complaints though. I take the commuter train to work now that we live 2 blocks from the station. I am blissful at how much better my commute is now than before... The commuter train is above ground and goes through a big wooded part of Toronto that I guess is protected because it's quite convincing that you've entered the wilderness. I can stare out the window, or read a book, or do my makeup if I'm running late, or take a nap with my mouth hanging open, and wake up to the passengers across from me looking slightly embarrassed.

I guess I'd better go take some pictures of the house and garden as the look now. I'll post them right away. *cough*

We bought a house!

It's a semi-detached. I call it half a house.
Our lovely back yard. This was taken on our first trip to check it out.
Finally, a vegetable garden.
I think I look quite flexible here.
Garden photos, in no particular order. My sister came, we had a great weekend.
Back at the apartment I had started a few seedlings.
Random instertion- our one year anniversary, and the flowers Pete got me.



We closed and got the key on our first wedding anniversary! We'll be moving in by the end of the month, Lord willing. Right now we are waist-deep in renovations. We spend hours upon hours inside Home Depot and Rona... trying to find what we want amongst mind-boggling options. It's hard to pick up one tile and know how it would look all over a room. However, we've made many choices, and the tiles are going in. Last weekend was spent in the garden with my sis and hubby. Ahh... my glorious vegetable garden. It's tantalizing because we still live a good 30-45 min away from it (in traffic), so I only get out there on weekends. But it's not like I need to water. The weather took notice of my poor neglected garden: it's been raining every other day, practically.